Pitiful or Awesome? The Shower Beer

Pitiful or Awesome? is an interactive post in which the reader gets to weigh in on whether the topic of the day is sad or genius.  

Today's Topic: The Shower Beer 

Photo source: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0BPMyltrBErPAI1xD2X7O7wBZ-MAtaerdNMn-qsqmmkTvpsLVACTL83KJ_CxWwmmWSFe2HapulMUa6owTIpFF0E3lzkg0PIhVSaLzXRIg6qHuSG5ZMRX08-d2423Ybx0wrL68jK6m_ko/s1600/b.jpg

I first learned of the shower beer from a group of male friends the summer before my senior year in college.  It was a 100 or more degree scorcher, and one of them had just spent the day working on a new garden on the university grounds (worst summer job ever in Austin, if you ask me).  He'd been sweating so long that it seemed like he likely had no more moisture left in his body.  He looked tired.  And hot.  And worn out.

But relief flooded his face when he grabbed a tall cold bottle of Shiner (the beer of choice at that time in my life) and walked toward the shower.  When he came out, I questioned him about this action.  I'd never seen this before.  It struck me as something only an alcoholic would do, and I was concerned for my friend.  How would I save him from drinking himself into ruin in the tub?

He claimed that it was the most relaxing beverage you'd ever experience.  I was doubtful, but he donated a beer to me as I made my way back to my dorm room.

It just felt wrong.  The bathroom is not a place for imbibing or eating anything.  There are poo particles flying out of toilets, for goodness sake!  But I closed the lid of the toilet seat and held the open bottle away from the commode on my way to the shower.  I held on to it as the water warmed up from the faucet and held it at arm's length away from the spray of the shower head.

I just stood there for a while, letting the warm water hit the back of my neck and cascade around my curvy parts.  The heat enveloped me as I stood and sipped.  It was just a plain old Shiner from the fridge like I would normally drink hanging out with friends.  But it was magically transformed between the white shower curtain and three tiled walls.  The contrast of the warmth flowing around my neck with the cool bubbly tickle of the suds flowing down my throat was invigorating.  Had I ever even noticed the bubbles before?  I could feel the cool liquid flow all the way to my middle and slosh around before it warmed.

Eventually, I had to put the beer down.  I moved my shampoo and conditioner bottles off of the bath's ledge and positioned the bottle carefully in their place.  I did some of your normal showery things, and then went back for another drink of this new elixir.  I found the bottle sweaty with cool condensation, like the delicious insides of the bottle were trying to make their presence known.  Now the beads dripped down my hand, wrist and forearm, crossing streams with water from the shower.

I don't normally drink a beer in a matter of 15 minutes, about the length of my average shower, but a shower beer must be finished in the shower, which only added to the enjoyment.  There are all these different physical sensations, and they're only enhanced by the slight tipsiness that sets in about halfway through.

If you do an image search on Google for "shower beer" you'll see that my friends and I are not alone in our love for the shower beer.  The lady in the image below has the right idea.  See the condensation on the bottle?

Photo source: http://i.imgur.com/2Exqb.jpg

Now I'm not too sure how I feel about this person's shower beer.  I feel like there's too much risk for dilution and possible warming of the brew with a pilsner glass.  Also, it's rather precariously perched on that tile ledge.  That looks like a scene from Psycho waiting to happen, if you ask me; but, you know, minus all the murder.

Photo source: http://boardingarea.com/blogs/thewanderingaramean/files/2010/11/IMG_0472.jpg

An important note: it is a shower beer, not a bath beer.  A bath doesn't create the same balance between warm and cool, and there's not enough steam.  It's still good, but it's not magical.

In my opinion, the shower beer should be reserved for the end of a long day; however, I do know those who like to use it as a warm up for a long night of fun ahead.

Clearly, I believe the shower beer is awesome, but maybe you're like 21-year-old me who thought only alcoholics or sad people would do such a thing.

Give your verdict below.